Newtonbrook United Church Youth Group | home
Mission | Photo Gallery | Events | Links | So You Say | Archives | Contact Us | This and That | Goofy Stuff | Serious Stuff
Goofy Stuff
Submitted by C.J.
PRINTED STUPIDITY
In case you needed further proof that the human race
is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual
label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping."
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos:
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside."
(The shoplifter special)
On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how ...?)
On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(But its "just" a suggestion)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down."
(Too late!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating."
(As night follows day . . .)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking
this medication."
(We could do a to reduce the rate of construction
accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with
head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(One would hope.)
On most Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."
(I gotta admit, I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts."
(Talk about a news flash.)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
( Step 3: Fly Delta.)
On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame parents for this
one.)
Who was the "voice crying in the wilderness"
and what prophet was he said to be?
Be the first NUC youth to answer this question and you could win a NUC Youth Group T-Shirt. Send your answer (on the Serious Stuff page of this Web Sight) and you could win a NUC Youth Group T-Shirt!
JOKE - What is the difference between the bagpipes and an onion...?
No one cries over cut up bagpipes